Graham, I love seeing your writing here. And I love that you're writing about autism! I've been doing research about autism at Harvard and mostly I'm shocked at how useless and obscure academic research is, and I wonder every day why I'm spending so much time doing this. But look! You wrote a post about my research topic!
Babytalk (the odd speech we use when talking to babies) is universal -- in all cultures, languages, etc. It's part of being human. Mothers (it's mothers, not fathers) use baby talk almost exclusively with infants, but autistic mothers do not. Many autistic mothers don't use it at all. On my way to discovering why this is (that's the paper) I learned that autistic mothers use babytalk for inanimate objects way, way more than neurotypical mothers do.
I didn't think about why that is. But your explanation makes good sense. Mostly I can't even believe this topic came up in the real world. So thank you for that.
You once told me that real world experience is the best educator when it comes to neurodivergence, so when I look for the links to it in my everyday life it makes more sense than anything else.
I'm much of the opinion that anthropomorphism is common throughout the human species and I've observed it in other mammals as well. Those pesky social conventions that you mention are at fault for artificially limiting human's sense of wonder and whimsy.
At the limit, who hasn't threatened a nail if it does not hammer in straight or cursed out the remote for its batteries dying? Entreaties to lift/subway doors not to close before we get in, a satisfied or relieved "Ah, there you are" when we find a favourite pair of socks at the bottom of the drawer, all this and much more make up the general day-to-day mini-conversations with inanimate objects that all humans tend to take part in. Our pets take this into an entirely higher gear.
From early Gen X on, we have been partially programmed to accept anthropomorphism, thanks to the many animated and puppetry shows of our childhoods that featured talking and singing plants and animals, household objects, and fruit and veg. While social convention instructs us to put those things away when adulthood looms, very few of us do.
Perhaps, what I am saying here is that you are not alone or reduced to a small tribe of hankerchief lovers. All of us billions have a favourite pillow or talk to our houseplants, or choose a shirt or scarf because of a "bond" that has grown between us. It's not you, it's everybody.
(P.S. I wrote a big essay on my stack about talking to lots of cats, if that helps).
As an ADHDer I can definitely relate on some level to this. My main soft toys Parsnip, Lemon and the Chips participate in a lot of conversations and need to be in the right place to watch the tv or they might get sad and they come on holiday with us. Obviously their opinions are sought about various things in case they have new ideas. I tend to need things to have eyes, though, so recently we were given an ice cream cone without eyes and it just wasn’t the same - to the point where we considered sewing eyes onto it to give it “personality”.
'That's the thing about human connection, it's unpredictable, but when nothing is a surprise everything starts to lose its lustre.' True.
For me, I think my anthropomorphizing is a way to combat loneliness. But I also appreciate it as a form of childlike creativity. You're probably on the right path, seeking out company more but not turning away from yourself!
Thanks Elynn. I think talking to an imaginary friend is in a similar category because, like anthropomorphism, it avoids the unpredictability of real-world human reaction.
Also an ADHDer, and have discussions with animate and inanimate objects in my life. I thank my car every time I arrive somewhere safely -
perhaps there is an element pf superstition in that also, but I still think it’s worthwhile to thank the car 😊. And my bathroom plant and I chat every day!
I make soft toys (knit or crochet mostly) and I always “feel” them into existence as I make them. Their faces kind of let me know how they want to be - this can involve a lot of pulling out and re-sewing of eyes and noses, etc. However, people respond to them - they get so many compliments for their character- and I believe this is because of how I “feel” them into existence. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m very much in agreement with thanking the car. It feels full of jeopardy not to. Anyone who doesn’t talk to plants is rude and negligent in my book.
Graham, I love seeing your writing here. And I love that you're writing about autism! I've been doing research about autism at Harvard and mostly I'm shocked at how useless and obscure academic research is, and I wonder every day why I'm spending so much time doing this. But look! You wrote a post about my research topic!
Babytalk (the odd speech we use when talking to babies) is universal -- in all cultures, languages, etc. It's part of being human. Mothers (it's mothers, not fathers) use baby talk almost exclusively with infants, but autistic mothers do not. Many autistic mothers don't use it at all. On my way to discovering why this is (that's the paper) I learned that autistic mothers use babytalk for inanimate objects way, way more than neurotypical mothers do.
I didn't think about why that is. But your explanation makes good sense. Mostly I can't even believe this topic came up in the real world. So thank you for that.
You once told me that real world experience is the best educator when it comes to neurodivergence, so when I look for the links to it in my everyday life it makes more sense than anything else.
I'm much of the opinion that anthropomorphism is common throughout the human species and I've observed it in other mammals as well. Those pesky social conventions that you mention are at fault for artificially limiting human's sense of wonder and whimsy.
At the limit, who hasn't threatened a nail if it does not hammer in straight or cursed out the remote for its batteries dying? Entreaties to lift/subway doors not to close before we get in, a satisfied or relieved "Ah, there you are" when we find a favourite pair of socks at the bottom of the drawer, all this and much more make up the general day-to-day mini-conversations with inanimate objects that all humans tend to take part in. Our pets take this into an entirely higher gear.
From early Gen X on, we have been partially programmed to accept anthropomorphism, thanks to the many animated and puppetry shows of our childhoods that featured talking and singing plants and animals, household objects, and fruit and veg. While social convention instructs us to put those things away when adulthood looms, very few of us do.
Perhaps, what I am saying here is that you are not alone or reduced to a small tribe of hankerchief lovers. All of us billions have a favourite pillow or talk to our houseplants, or choose a shirt or scarf because of a "bond" that has grown between us. It's not you, it's everybody.
(P.S. I wrote a big essay on my stack about talking to lots of cats, if that helps).
As an ADHDer I can definitely relate on some level to this. My main soft toys Parsnip, Lemon and the Chips participate in a lot of conversations and need to be in the right place to watch the tv or they might get sad and they come on holiday with us. Obviously their opinions are sought about various things in case they have new ideas. I tend to need things to have eyes, though, so recently we were given an ice cream cone without eyes and it just wasn’t the same - to the point where we considered sewing eyes onto it to give it “personality”.
I guess you could use stick on eyes. I totally see why you’d want to anthropomorphise properly 😊
'That's the thing about human connection, it's unpredictable, but when nothing is a surprise everything starts to lose its lustre.' True.
For me, I think my anthropomorphizing is a way to combat loneliness. But I also appreciate it as a form of childlike creativity. You're probably on the right path, seeking out company more but not turning away from yourself!
You’re rightJane, I won’t be turning away from myself. I’m the only person I’ll definitely always have around 😊
I do this to some extent. Also, and I think this falls into a similar category, I still have imaginary friends that I talk to in my head.
Thanks Elynn. I think talking to an imaginary friend is in a similar category because, like anthropomorphism, it avoids the unpredictability of real-world human reaction.
Wow this landed in so many ways, and gifted me lovely soft insights to my nature and diverse habits . Thank you
Thank you Susan. I’m so glad to hear you found value in it.
Oh, gosh. This felt deeply familiar!
Also an ADHDer, and have discussions with animate and inanimate objects in my life. I thank my car every time I arrive somewhere safely -
perhaps there is an element pf superstition in that also, but I still think it’s worthwhile to thank the car 😊. And my bathroom plant and I chat every day!
I make soft toys (knit or crochet mostly) and I always “feel” them into existence as I make them. Their faces kind of let me know how they want to be - this can involve a lot of pulling out and re-sewing of eyes and noses, etc. However, people respond to them - they get so many compliments for their character- and I believe this is because of how I “feel” them into existence. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m very much in agreement with thanking the car. It feels full of jeopardy not to. Anyone who doesn’t talk to plants is rude and negligent in my book.
Great 👌 read.
Thanks Lique